A friend of ours was struck with preeclampsia earlier this week. The doctors were able to get her blood pressure down with magnesium sulfate (which I had after delivery for preeclampsia, as well) which bought them enough time to get her two steroid shots to boost the surfactant in her baby girl’s lungs. Her little sweetheart was born this afternoon at 30 weeks and 6 days. Mom and baby are both doing well.
Watching her go through all this has been amazing, scary, and cathartic for me. My husband and I were lucky with our early pregnancy. We knew months in advance that our boys would be early because they were discordant. When I was admitted to the hospital on bed rest at 27 weeks my doctor said she’d be happy if I made it to 28 weeks. I held on until 30 weeks and 5 days (yes, almost exact to my friend’s pregnancy). In the months leading up to being admitted we had been on an emotional roller coaster ride of test after test. We had plenty of time and practice at preparing ourselves for our NICU babies. I’d read up on pumping to produce milk before the babies could be at breast. We had a stock of preemie clothes from both grandparents. We were halfway through our prepared childbirth classes and had tours of both hospitals’ NICUs. I’d even read a book on C-sections that was so scary (because it detailed every complication that might lead to a section) that I won’t recommend it to friends.
One can never be ready for what lies ahead for a preemie baby. But, knowing our boys would be early seems to have lessened our hardship tremendously. Of the 10 or more stories I’ve heard personally, I don’t know anyone else who knew their twins or singleton would arrive as early as they did (normal 3-4 week early twins aside).
My friend, the new mama, has seen many photos of our boys’ days in the NICU and read our other blog posts but we’re behind on telling many stories. I wanted her and her husband to be as prepared as I could lend them a hand to be. I shared with them what they could expect for the C-section and the first moments in the NICU – papa alone (mama in post-op) with his new tiny baby, being asked to sign papers while neonatal nurses, respitory therapists, and the neonatologist stabilize his fragile little girl. I can only imagine what it was like for David – I watched these vulnerable moments of a few dads in the NICU. Now, I’m trying to coach my friend through the first fumbling trials of pumping her milk.
Today, the NICU journey starts for our friends. There are the obvious reasons one doesn’t want to have that experience but we’ve gained a number of benefits from our time in the NICU. I just need to take the time to share all the stories. So, I’ll do what I can to get them out here; little by little with hopes that someone else may gain some peace in their own process of becoming a NICU parent.
Here’s to the new parents and their new baby girl. We love you and are so happy that everyone is healthy and safe. Welcome to the wild and wonderous ride of parenting.
[...] ours gave birth to a baby girl nine weeks early, the same as when our twins were born (see: “This Week’s Walk Down Memory Lane.”) Through supporting her and her husband, we’ve been able to look back at our [...]